16-09-2014, 20:18
Hello![INDENT=2]I wonder what you will think and how you will feel if you're in this situation? I apologize if I could make this long story any shorter.
I'm in a 5 piece band and I'm the only female. Last year, 2 of our bandmates had to leave the band(bassist and drummer) but luckily we were able to find 2 new members within a month. Everything was going well at first, maybe even too well which led to this problem. We do rehearse once a week, sometimes even twice and on top of that we hang out during the week-end. Basically, everyone became buddies and not very long ago we planned to go on a trip abroad together. So, one of the guitarists in the band(which is also my boyfriend) and I invited them to come with us and we proposed for them to stay at my family's vacation house. They all agreed to come and we were preparing everything. At the last minutewhen all that's left is to buy our plane tickets, they all announced that they're no longer coming. And secretly, they were planning to go on a trip somewhere else, and that is of course, WITHOUT US. We had a talk and they revealed that it's the bassist's girlfriend's idea not to go with us and the bassist who is greatly dominated by his girlfriend had no other choice but to give in. Then they influenced the other guitarist's girlfriend as well. It was like a domino effect.
You must be asking why would they cancel the last minute? There must be something wrong right? Well, to be honest, a few weeks before they cancelled, they kept asking us to go out almost every week-end and there were even some weeks that we would see each other multiple times. We(my boyfriend and I) had to stop going because we had problems financially and knowing that the trip was getting closer, we had to save money. They knew that but it's as if they didn't understand. We also thought that it's quite excessive. They took it badly and say that we're selfish and stingy(comments mostly comming from their girlfriends to because whenever we hang out their girlfriends ALWAYS want to be around).
We were upset about the whole situation and thought that the band was going to end there. But we gave it another chance, when we did we established a few "rules" like only the people in the band will make decisions for the band(the bassist girlfriend controls almost everything he does even when he can or cannot rehearse). They know that it's ok for their girlfriends to be around but there's a limit. I had my hopes up too soon, just recently, history repeated itself. It's more like their girlfriends are the band members and not us. We feel completely excluded. They recently went to meet an owner of a music venue who invited us to play and they didn't even invite us or tell us about it(I only found out when I sent a message asking about the bar we had to go to for another gig). I know that the bassist will forever be dominated by his satanic girlfriend and the guitarist's girlfriend will always be influenced by the bassist girlfriend, so to my fellow musicians out there has anyone experienced this before? how can you improve such situation? It can't go on like this.
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I'm in a 5 piece band and I'm the only female. Last year, 2 of our bandmates had to leave the band(bassist and drummer) but luckily we were able to find 2 new members within a month. Everything was going well at first, maybe even too well which led to this problem. We do rehearse once a week, sometimes even twice and on top of that we hang out during the week-end. Basically, everyone became buddies and not very long ago we planned to go on a trip abroad together. So, one of the guitarists in the band(which is also my boyfriend) and I invited them to come with us and we proposed for them to stay at my family's vacation house. They all agreed to come and we were preparing everything. At the last minutewhen all that's left is to buy our plane tickets, they all announced that they're no longer coming. And secretly, they were planning to go on a trip somewhere else, and that is of course, WITHOUT US. We had a talk and they revealed that it's the bassist's girlfriend's idea not to go with us and the bassist who is greatly dominated by his girlfriend had no other choice but to give in. Then they influenced the other guitarist's girlfriend as well. It was like a domino effect.
You must be asking why would they cancel the last minute? There must be something wrong right? Well, to be honest, a few weeks before they cancelled, they kept asking us to go out almost every week-end and there were even some weeks that we would see each other multiple times. We(my boyfriend and I) had to stop going because we had problems financially and knowing that the trip was getting closer, we had to save money. They knew that but it's as if they didn't understand. We also thought that it's quite excessive. They took it badly and say that we're selfish and stingy(comments mostly comming from their girlfriends to because whenever we hang out their girlfriends ALWAYS want to be around).
We were upset about the whole situation and thought that the band was going to end there. But we gave it another chance, when we did we established a few "rules" like only the people in the band will make decisions for the band(the bassist girlfriend controls almost everything he does even when he can or cannot rehearse). They know that it's ok for their girlfriends to be around but there's a limit. I had my hopes up too soon, just recently, history repeated itself. It's more like their girlfriends are the band members and not us. We feel completely excluded. They recently went to meet an owner of a music venue who invited us to play and they didn't even invite us or tell us about it(I only found out when I sent a message asking about the bar we had to go to for another gig). I know that the bassist will forever be dominated by his satanic girlfriend and the guitarist's girlfriend will always be influenced by the bassist girlfriend, so to my fellow musicians out there has anyone experienced this before? how can you improve such situation? It can't go on like this.
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