Overload by Frayah. Hard rock/Progressive rock song

[Banafrith]

https://soundcloud.com/frayah/overload

Been working way too long on this song. Decided to cut some stuff, polish it up and be done with it. Thanks for listening. Let me know what you think.

[Jerome]

OK Banafrith take my comments with a pinch of salt. You are not playing a song - no words - that's my first point. Second, it's really a guitar riff played over and over. Nothing wrong with that, but if you want to keep the listener interested it has to go somewhere. There has to be an idea behind it. A listener (well me anyway), wants a beginning, a journey to travel along in order to arrive at a destination, and a sense of conclusion or it will always sound unfinished. I can 'see' what you are trying to do but you have to expand on this in order to arrive at a finished product. It sounds to me like you have ideas but they have not been fleshed out yet. Maybe someone else could give their opinion on this otherwise the critique would be lopsided. IMO you need to hook up with a writer with ideas and use your guitar skills to complement that. The drums need quite a bit of work, sampled or not. You know where you want to be, but you need something/someone to assist you in your aspirations. And remember this is just my opinion - it does not mean I am right.

[Music Head]

listened before I saw Jerome's comment
he's exactly right
kept expecting it to go somewhere
just repetition here
which is what most music is without lyrics, imo

[Jerome]

Here's an example of a piece of guitar work that has a beginning, a middle variation and an end. Also incorrectly called a 'song' by whoever posted this. It's a track, nothing more. Notice how the track develops, changes tack, then expands and finally returns to the main theme which in fact is only a handful of notes. https://youtu.be/z__plRpIabU

PS - it's one of my favourite pieces by David Gilmour - the reason the guitar has that 'edge' to it is because it had a bad transistor in the internal circuits of the guitar.

[CRAZY-HORSE]

listened before I saw Jerome's comment
he's exactly right
kept expecting it to go somewhere
just repetition here
which is what most music is without lyrics, imo

LOL....
most lyrics nowadays are repetitive also,
then again most of them pre mid 1960s were also

[Banafrith]

Thanks so much for your honest input, it really helps. I will be back.

[Jerome]

And don't give up. You have the talent on the guitar and you have the ideas - just needs to be rounded off. What's that old saying - A winner never quits and a quitter never wins.