09-06-2015, 19:46
Part 2
12) No one will believe you're a Blues man if you wear a suit, 'less you're an old guy and it looks like you slept in it.
13) Do you have a right to sing the Blues? Yes, if: (a) You're older than dirt; (b) you're blind; © you shot a man in Memphis; (d) you can't be satisfied. No, if: (a) you have all your teeth; (b) you once were blind but now can see; © the man in Memphis lived; (d) you have a 401(K) or a trust fund.
14) Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people got a leg up on the Blues.
15) If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: (a) cheap wine; (b) whiskey or Bourbon; © muddy water; (d) black coffee. The following are NOT Blues beverages: (a) Chardonnay; (b) Perrier; © Snapple; (d) Slim Fast.
16) If death occurs in a cheap motel or shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
17) Some Blues names for women: (a) Sadie; (b) Big Mama; © Bessie; (d) Fat River Dumpling
18) Some Blues names for men: (a) Joe; (b) Willie; © Little Willie; (d) Big Willie
19) Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
20) Blues Name Starter Kit: (a) name of a physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.; (b) first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Peach, etc.); © last name of President ( Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example: Blind Lemon Jefferson, Pegleg Lime Johnson, Cripple Peach Fillmore, etc.
21) I don't care how tragic your life is; if you own a computer, you cannot sing the Blues. Period. Sorry.
12) No one will believe you're a Blues man if you wear a suit, 'less you're an old guy and it looks like you slept in it.
13) Do you have a right to sing the Blues? Yes, if: (a) You're older than dirt; (b) you're blind; © you shot a man in Memphis; (d) you can't be satisfied. No, if: (a) you have all your teeth; (b) you once were blind but now can see; © the man in Memphis lived; (d) you have a 401(K) or a trust fund.
14) Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people got a leg up on the Blues.
15) If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: (a) cheap wine; (b) whiskey or Bourbon; © muddy water; (d) black coffee. The following are NOT Blues beverages: (a) Chardonnay; (b) Perrier; © Snapple; (d) Slim Fast.
16) If death occurs in a cheap motel or shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
17) Some Blues names for women: (a) Sadie; (b) Big Mama; © Bessie; (d) Fat River Dumpling
18) Some Blues names for men: (a) Joe; (b) Willie; © Little Willie; (d) Big Willie
19) Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
20) Blues Name Starter Kit: (a) name of a physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.; (b) first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Peach, etc.); © last name of President ( Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) For example: Blind Lemon Jefferson, Pegleg Lime Johnson, Cripple Peach Fillmore, etc.
21) I don't care how tragic your life is; if you own a computer, you cannot sing the Blues. Period. Sorry.
A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind--Dr. Johnson
What he said. Amen, Bro--JazzboCR
What he said. Amen, Bro--JazzboCR