Time I Got Mugged

[oisinmccole]

Hi,

I've posted some songs online. I'd really appreciate any feedback, especially if it's critical.

http://www.reverbnation.com/oisinmccole

Thanks for your time,
Oisin

[gryphon]

What you have written is a nice song , there is talent here and you manage to produce something of consequence ....................The steam of conscientiousness idea is interesting.

There are weakness too......I feel the lyric is fine and tells the story well but there are one or two places that need a re think............there are flow problems in places , the lyrics don't scan and fit to the pattern of the music. In my opinion this song needs to show some attitude in places and it does not. The guitar playing is competent but does not grab me ...it sounds a bit limited and want opening up with a few flourishes and a change or two more in volume to project the feeling more.

[Jerome]

I agree 100% with gryphon. Listen to what he says. He is completely correct.

[Fingtam]

I don't know why, but I really liked the line where you say "What I did was equally worse"
There is just something cool about the poor grammar.