03-05-2025, 10:45
"Katy Perry Thinks She's The Victim"
Katy Perry, a name you've heard time after time. Maybe you think she's a pop princess, or maybe you see her as a woman who's fading into the abyss and is soon to be forgotten. Whether or not you think she is or have heard the flop of the, the, erm... let's just say "interesting" album that '143' was, I hope we can both agree that what I'm going to tell you is crazy.
And before you ask, no, I'm not mainly going to talk about her album fails again or about her space flight; this is something completely new, her tours. (Although I will throw in a few references to her flight because it's so historic that I can't go without mentioning it.)
For anyone wondering, a Katy Perry tour ticket costs around a hundred pounds or sometimes goes for a couple of hundred, and for any foreigner, that's quite a bit of money. So you expect to see top-notch Katy, right? Or at least good, Katy?
Yeah, you're about to be so disappointed that you don't even realise.
Well, let's start with what you would expect from the tour; surely the choreography can't disappoint, right? I'll let you decide; here are a few of Katy's performances on the '143' tour.
1. Katy runs out onto stage with a lightsabre to fight some Star Wars character and then pulls some moves that the Star Wars characters did while other animated characters are just fighting on stage for no reason.
2. Warms up by doing robotic-like dance moves before being lifted up in the air for some trick; this ultimately ends in her lifting up 2 feet or so before falling over backwards onto the floor.
3. Oh, you thought this tour was over? Nuh-uh, Katy cleverly crafted something in the background filling the whole screen of the concert, AI images of robot cats and her – what a cleverly crafted idea! Congrats to ChatGPT for thinking of it.
4. She fought a tube with steam coming out of it (rumoured to be a malfunction.)
But wait… there's more! Katy Perry's tours aren't actually selling well right which results in re-sales. If you're lucky enough, you might get to see the astronaut herself, Katy Perry. For Katy, spending 11 minutes somewhere is a lot of time, so she must value every second she spends with her fans.
But after all this and overpricing concerts with low-quality audio and giving performances that you could find in a McDonald's playpark, Katy had enough; how dare she get criticised for everything she's done for the country (and, of course, the fellow space investigators)? Katy spoke about how she felt she's being kicked around like a "human piñata". Katy, the only thing getting hit like a human piñata is you when you fell backwards a whopping two feet on the '143' tour.
So, tell me what you think: does Katy deserve the hate? Or are you with me and agree that a Red Bull can give you wings longer than Katy Perry's flight lasted?
Katy Perry, a name you've heard time after time. Maybe you think she's a pop princess, or maybe you see her as a woman who's fading into the abyss and is soon to be forgotten. Whether or not you think she is or have heard the flop of the, the, erm... let's just say "interesting" album that '143' was, I hope we can both agree that what I'm going to tell you is crazy.
And before you ask, no, I'm not mainly going to talk about her album fails again or about her space flight; this is something completely new, her tours. (Although I will throw in a few references to her flight because it's so historic that I can't go without mentioning it.)
For anyone wondering, a Katy Perry tour ticket costs around a hundred pounds or sometimes goes for a couple of hundred, and for any foreigner, that's quite a bit of money. So you expect to see top-notch Katy, right? Or at least good, Katy?
Yeah, you're about to be so disappointed that you don't even realise.
Well, let's start with what you would expect from the tour; surely the choreography can't disappoint, right? I'll let you decide; here are a few of Katy's performances on the '143' tour.
1. Katy runs out onto stage with a lightsabre to fight some Star Wars character and then pulls some moves that the Star Wars characters did while other animated characters are just fighting on stage for no reason.
2. Warms up by doing robotic-like dance moves before being lifted up in the air for some trick; this ultimately ends in her lifting up 2 feet or so before falling over backwards onto the floor.
3. Oh, you thought this tour was over? Nuh-uh, Katy cleverly crafted something in the background filling the whole screen of the concert, AI images of robot cats and her – what a cleverly crafted idea! Congrats to ChatGPT for thinking of it.
4. She fought a tube with steam coming out of it (rumoured to be a malfunction.)
But wait… there's more! Katy Perry's tours aren't actually selling well right which results in re-sales. If you're lucky enough, you might get to see the astronaut herself, Katy Perry. For Katy, spending 11 minutes somewhere is a lot of time, so she must value every second she spends with her fans.
But after all this and overpricing concerts with low-quality audio and giving performances that you could find in a McDonald's playpark, Katy had enough; how dare she get criticised for everything she's done for the country (and, of course, the fellow space investigators)? Katy spoke about how she felt she's being kicked around like a "human piñata". Katy, the only thing getting hit like a human piñata is you when you fell backwards a whopping two feet on the '143' tour.
So, tell me what you think: does Katy deserve the hate? Or are you with me and agree that a Red Bull can give you wings longer than Katy Perry's flight lasted?