02-01-2025, 15:05
Museum Music - Edward Skeletrix - Mellope Album Review
OVERVIEW:
Nothing here was much of a vibe, and it sounds like experimental rap gone wrong. My brain can't comprehend how someone can sit and listen to this and actually like it. This is so terrible it deserves a place next to the electric chair. Sadly, this had to be my first review of 2025, and boy oh boy, this is already a contender for the worst album of the year. Edward, if you're reading this, just put the fries in the bag, bro. The lack of uniqueness will not take you to any new heights in the industry; it just makes you look like a wannabe gangsta who doesn't care about their music. It's also very off-putting for what's to come in your career. Also, while you're at it, please take those random girls off the music and stop moaning into the microphone—it's annoying!
TRACK-BY-TRACK REVIEW:
1. Congratulations (5/10)
Promoted and hinted at throughout the album, this is spoken word with multiple samples. Honestly, the samples made this a better intro than it would've been otherwise, and at least the intro told us to be happy. I mean, what else can I say? It's a sweet, small intro.
2. Typical Rap Song 11 (3/10)
I stared at my screen with a face like stone. I was so unimpressed. This sounds like if Carti went bankrupt. It's alternative southern rap cr*p with beats that sound like they were recorded on the first-ever Nokia phone. It actually sounds like you were out of breath, stopping mid-sentence while the autotune rules every word you speak.
3. Life's So Funny (1/10)
OH HELL NO! NO! We have an early contender for the worst song of 2025. In fact, this reminded me to start the list. I am dead serious—I do not get how people can like this. It starts with a minute of autotune frying someone's voice on the mic, ultimately turning them into a whining toddler, before Edward kicks in and delivers whatever the heck this verse is (it's *ss, that's what it is).
4. Blurry Picture (Psychosis) (2/10)
This was like everything else I heard compiled into one: rap cr*p.
5. Plastic Body (2/10)
As expected, repeated and boring like the rest of the album. I regret going into this album.
6. Slve N**** Still Shop at Neiman's (2/10)**
For some reason, a female voice keeps mentioning "Hot girl summer" and "Hot girl this" throughout the album. I don't know what the hype is about, but it's annoying. There are parts where it sounds like Edward got an online keyboard and just jammed his fingers in random places. Even I, with little music experience, could release something like or better than this. For a big part, this is just talking, not even rapping.
7. Typical Rap Song 12 (0.5/10)
The start sounds like if I caught a fly under a piece of paper and it's trying to escape. Not a single inch of my body liked anything in this song. Then the song randomly ends with a "Miaow" noise. I'm seriously questioning if this is a big troll or if he's actually this bad.
8. God Made You a Monster (4/10)
I appreciate that there's some difference in sound now, and it's listenable, but it's still bad. It has a more chiptune style but ends up sounding like Future from Walmart.
9. Drg Dealer Injects His F*** (Psychosis) (3/10)**
This delves more experimental with changes in rhythm and tuning, but it doesn't add up to anything big. It's still awful.
10. Skeletrix Island (0O0) (5.5/10)
FINALLY! A track I actually think is decent! Never thought the day would come. The light piano creates a reflective moment, along with the autotuned moaning sound (which is growing on me). I see why this was released as the main single.
11. Dr*g Story (3.5/10)
We've entered the part of the album where random screams are being thrown into the mix for no reason. One sounded like "Donkey AAAARGH," and I immediately thought of Shrek. Anyways, this is just rubbish rap cr*p like the rest of the album.
12. K*lling Over Likes (4/10)
Despite being modern rap cr*p, this does have a flow that could make its way onto the Billboard Hot 100. Just saying, there's something bigger here in my opinion. Personally, it's nothing memorable and just another form of gangsta lyrics with swervy-sounding rap.
13. Making Art for Money (3/10)
The only thing I appreciate is the new sounds in small segments of the song. This is still cluttered and stinky, though.
14. Only Fan (3.5/10)
I really don't want to sound boring in my review, but this is literally the same thing as many other singles. You get the idea by now.
15. Yo Bro Will K*ll for a Band (4/10)
We finish one of the worst albums I've heard in a while with a song about how Edward doesn't trust people and that others shouldn't either. It's a softer finish compared to the rest of the album, and the production is less messy, which I respect. But this still isn't for me.
I pray someone reads this. Listening to this was like hell.
BEST - "Skeletrix Island"
WORST - "Typical Rap Song 12"
ALBUM RATING - 1/10
OVERVIEW:
Nothing here was much of a vibe, and it sounds like experimental rap gone wrong. My brain can't comprehend how someone can sit and listen to this and actually like it. This is so terrible it deserves a place next to the electric chair. Sadly, this had to be my first review of 2025, and boy oh boy, this is already a contender for the worst album of the year. Edward, if you're reading this, just put the fries in the bag, bro. The lack of uniqueness will not take you to any new heights in the industry; it just makes you look like a wannabe gangsta who doesn't care about their music. It's also very off-putting for what's to come in your career. Also, while you're at it, please take those random girls off the music and stop moaning into the microphone—it's annoying!
TRACK-BY-TRACK REVIEW:
1. Congratulations (5/10)
Promoted and hinted at throughout the album, this is spoken word with multiple samples. Honestly, the samples made this a better intro than it would've been otherwise, and at least the intro told us to be happy. I mean, what else can I say? It's a sweet, small intro.
2. Typical Rap Song 11 (3/10)
I stared at my screen with a face like stone. I was so unimpressed. This sounds like if Carti went bankrupt. It's alternative southern rap cr*p with beats that sound like they were recorded on the first-ever Nokia phone. It actually sounds like you were out of breath, stopping mid-sentence while the autotune rules every word you speak.
3. Life's So Funny (1/10)
OH HELL NO! NO! We have an early contender for the worst song of 2025. In fact, this reminded me to start the list. I am dead serious—I do not get how people can like this. It starts with a minute of autotune frying someone's voice on the mic, ultimately turning them into a whining toddler, before Edward kicks in and delivers whatever the heck this verse is (it's *ss, that's what it is).
4. Blurry Picture (Psychosis) (2/10)
This was like everything else I heard compiled into one: rap cr*p.
5. Plastic Body (2/10)
As expected, repeated and boring like the rest of the album. I regret going into this album.
6. Slve N**** Still Shop at Neiman's (2/10)**
For some reason, a female voice keeps mentioning "Hot girl summer" and "Hot girl this" throughout the album. I don't know what the hype is about, but it's annoying. There are parts where it sounds like Edward got an online keyboard and just jammed his fingers in random places. Even I, with little music experience, could release something like or better than this. For a big part, this is just talking, not even rapping.
7. Typical Rap Song 12 (0.5/10)
The start sounds like if I caught a fly under a piece of paper and it's trying to escape. Not a single inch of my body liked anything in this song. Then the song randomly ends with a "Miaow" noise. I'm seriously questioning if this is a big troll or if he's actually this bad.
8. God Made You a Monster (4/10)
I appreciate that there's some difference in sound now, and it's listenable, but it's still bad. It has a more chiptune style but ends up sounding like Future from Walmart.
9. Drg Dealer Injects His F*** (Psychosis) (3/10)**
This delves more experimental with changes in rhythm and tuning, but it doesn't add up to anything big. It's still awful.
10. Skeletrix Island (0O0) (5.5/10)
FINALLY! A track I actually think is decent! Never thought the day would come. The light piano creates a reflective moment, along with the autotuned moaning sound (which is growing on me). I see why this was released as the main single.
11. Dr*g Story (3.5/10)
We've entered the part of the album where random screams are being thrown into the mix for no reason. One sounded like "Donkey AAAARGH," and I immediately thought of Shrek. Anyways, this is just rubbish rap cr*p like the rest of the album.
12. K*lling Over Likes (4/10)
Despite being modern rap cr*p, this does have a flow that could make its way onto the Billboard Hot 100. Just saying, there's something bigger here in my opinion. Personally, it's nothing memorable and just another form of gangsta lyrics with swervy-sounding rap.
13. Making Art for Money (3/10)
The only thing I appreciate is the new sounds in small segments of the song. This is still cluttered and stinky, though.
14. Only Fan (3.5/10)
I really don't want to sound boring in my review, but this is literally the same thing as many other singles. You get the idea by now.
15. Yo Bro Will K*ll for a Band (4/10)
We finish one of the worst albums I've heard in a while with a song about how Edward doesn't trust people and that others shouldn't either. It's a softer finish compared to the rest of the album, and the production is less messy, which I respect. But this still isn't for me.
I pray someone reads this. Listening to this was like hell.
BEST - "Skeletrix Island"
WORST - "Typical Rap Song 12"
ALBUM RATING - 1/10