Hey I'm looking for some feedback on my new song.

[ManhattanPhanton]

Hey,
I'm Ciaran Short a seventeen year old alternative rapper from New York City and I just released an EP a few days ago on Soundcloud. Stationery is a project of six songs about growing up in Manhattan and coming to terms with adulthood. The song that has gained the most attention on the sight is Bleached Cigarettes and I was looking for some feedback on this specific track. Any way in which you think I could improve or alter for future undertakings would be greatly appreciated. And if you like the song please feel free to listen to the whole EP or follow or like.

Thanks,
Ciaran Short

https://soundcloud.com/ciaranshort/04-bl...igaretttes

[Jerome]

Well there's no real music to speak of. Just some guy rambling on about all sorts of stuff. According to your lyrics you mention standing still - i.e. stationary - stationery has a completely different meaning??!!?? And there's no such word as 'phanton' Surely you mean 'phantom'. I'll pass on this.

[VincentAnthony]

Bit to much of Jay Electronica for me. Sounds cool, and I understand it's about what you're saying, however the instrumental aspect is seriously lacking. There's no need for it to sound "hard", especially with what you're speaking about, however, there's no variety in what's going on behind the voice. A lot of it is just a clarinet sound or some woodwind just playing quarter notes and alternative on four notes. Keep going man, you're only 17.

[ManhattanPhanton]

Well there's no real music to speak of. Just some guy rambling on about all sorts of stuff. According to your lyrics you mention standing still - i.e. stationary - stationery has a completely different meaning??!!?? And there's no such word as 'phanton' Surely you mean 'phantom'. I'll pass on this.

The cover art was drawn on stationery, as in the paper, something often used in high school which I currently attend. And in school I find my self standing still as in stuck in the same old grind day to to day thing. So the different spellings were completely intentional for the title of the project and the last song on the tape Stationary with an A to reference I'm still stuck.
Where as for your opinions on my "music" I respect what you said cause you have a right to an opinion, and it's funny you mentioned rambling because I literally have a song on the tape called rambling, so I guess you must have hit it right on the nose there buddy. Thanks for the feedback!!!