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+---- Thread: Looking for comments and crits on my original lyrics (/showthread.php?tid=5658)
Looking for comments and crits on my original lyrics - sazberryftw - 01-08-2011
So, I'm in a band called Burn With Us.
I've probably, in total, wrote at least a hundred songs in my time of composing, but I'm often very conscious of how 'good' my lyrics are.
It worries me a lot and I often shy away from showing people, and my band, as I'm confident no one's going to tell me if they'e bad, so I'll never know.
I'm not looking to get brutally criticised, but I don't want you to lie to me. |D
You can hear some, and read them, in the link above, and here is a song I wrote recently:
Quote:Verse
I don't know what's real
I can't find a sense of feeling
Taken me so far
And I can't find where you are
I don't believe it's fair
I trusted all you said and now I'm
Left with who you were
Sweet and something I adored
Pre-chorus
It's a place
For the loving
The ones who
Wouldn't let go
Even if they're hurting
Chorus
It's not right
Taking away my pride
Suffercating
What I gave to you
Taking me for granted
And I don't like how you're smiling
Do you think it's right?
Think you'll see me at your side... next time?
Verse2
Is my life on hold?
Nothing seems to change it's like my
Mind is getting old
Not sure where I began
And now I feel so cold
Ashamed of everything I ever felt
Sitting all alone
Gazing out at all that's lost
Pre-chorus2
It's a place
For the kind
The people who
Wouldn't let go
Despite all of the pain they get from you
Chorus
It's not right
Taking away my pride
Suffercating
What I gave to you
Taking me for granted
And I don't like how you're smiling
Do you think it's right?
So you think you'll see me at your side... next time?
Looking for comments and crits on my original lyrics - Jerome - 28-11-2012
Lyrics, good or bad are meaningless without the music that accompanies them. You could have a good lyric with a bad arrangment that spoils it or you could have a bad lyric with a good arrangement that lifts it. Until you hear it in a musical context it's hard to decide whether it's good or not. By the way, is the 'suffercating' word intended or just a typo?