I have been trying to see if what I experience when reading music is not just my issue, I am a terrible sight reader, its like the notes just don't want to been seen clearly. Even after I have learnt the piece I still have trouble, I consider myself a reasonably good player but because of this problem I feel like I am not playing to my best, I am also completely deaf in one ear which may have some impact.
I will try and explain my issue, apart form the sight reading I also have trouble after I have learnt the part, its as though my mind doesn't want to let go of reading every single note on the page which get blurred when playing faster music, sometimes this is not to much of an issue and I tend to run on automatic when playing music I know but then at times its as though in some runs I just forget it and its as though I'm sight reading again. Even simple runs up the scale in a piece of music just goes astray, its very frustrating and limiting as some music I do without any issues and learn very well.

Any insight in this would be very much appreciated.