This is a very delicate subject and I have many negative reactions to it. The reason I do has more to do with the constant battle I have with that world. I have been living in that world for decades and one day I hope that my mixed feelings will resolve to myself finally making the ultimate decision to leave it behind.. If you don't like the path which you travel on, then you must find the confidence to take a different direction in your life. This usually results in a time bomb going off...like Danny Kirwan from Fleetwood Mac, where your personal reaction to everyone around you is hurtful or some act out of desperation that puts you in a situation where you can never go back until many years later..just like Jeremy Spencer or Chi Coltrane did in the 70's , only to return in the present. Interestingly enough, I find that there are cases where there is no other alternative. There truly is no other alternative when musicians, fans, and agents attempt to put your ass in a sling.
Some people in the past have thought that by leaving the music business and staying home to record your own music is a way of having fun in your life. It is not. Not in most cases and especially today. If you want to record your own music, release it and perform it, you are faced with conforming that music to what is relevant today. Bingo!...wrong move! If you adjust to that, your music will lack glory. If you don't conform to society's ways, you will end up in a basement, forever living in a fantasy world and entertaining yourself with your personal talent....which is boring and completely dull because YOU are faced with 4 walls, a studio, and a dream that will never surface.
Sexual promiscuity in the music business is vast and reveals what a majority of people are all about. It's all very phony and focuses on the touch of another body without romance and love. After years of traveling the road ..I have arrived to the conclusion that people want to touch another body just to reassure themselves that they are not phantoms. I have been standing on stages for decades and seeing people rub their bodies together as a means of expressing the importance of satisfying their personal sexual needs. If there really is a place called HELL...this is part of it. It completely lacks glory and does not contain the romantic devotion that a man must give to a woman. If a man cares about a woman, he must prove that he is not out to take advantage of her sexually. I do not completely out-rule the exceptions where 2 people meet in a bar, club, or theater and actually have feeling for each other that run deeper than what the physical world has to offer them. There are such exceptional cases, but they are part of a minority. Sex is suppose to be natural and part of the inner love for each other, but when it forms into ONLY a physical sensation, that takes away from sincerity and is quite opposite from how one expresses true love for a "soul-mate...which!...in the music business, a vast majority of human beings are totally dismissive to that part of life. Woman who are groupies...have a certain look in their eyes that is telling. Right directly underneath the look of attraction and flirtatious nature is counter-love and any romantic motivation on the male's behalf is found to be laughable by a groupie who has ulterior motives for the male and is out for the count.
One of my first observations of sexual promiscuity was when I was 22 years old and performing at the Brandywine Theater in Pennsylvania. I stood holding my guitar case and observed a line of women lined up from the stage..extended all the way out to the end of the parking lot in a snow storm to supposedly get an autograph from the entertainer I worked for. At least of all...that was the fringe or obvious revealing excuse for the audience or staff members to believe in order to justify their actions. The real truth was the obvious persistence to have sex with this entertainer and an autograph was something to mask their intentions with. I was approached by many of them and offered sex if I introduced them to my employer and that was a bit revolting. Another harsh example is having your wife in the band with you. She may be a universal vocalist and might strike up a relationship with ANOTHER musician in the band. This is okay within itself until that musician's wife/girlfriend expects you to render the same kind of attention to her which revolves around her personal jealousy of your wife. I can't relate to this. This is all a game played by men and women who feel threatened by the fact that YOUR spouse shares a common interest with their spouse. I can't relate to that particular "role-playing" position. It may not be severe like Bob Weston sleeping with Mick Fleetwood's wife , but it still contains the minor growth of those nightmarish possibilities.
In the music business, love exists...but sex contains the germ of death. Because as it gives life, it can also take it. It's the cool adrenalin in the marble limbs and very much like the crucified serpent. I believe sex is sometimes diseased and can infect it's carrier. I know for a fact that many musicians obtain fame through sexual encounter with the "right" person. An agent, manager, or musician. When you are a popular musician, people dig into your business by asking other musicians in the band about you and then they follow a course of action to exploit you. They will even make up lies/false stories about you to much later...accomplish their goal of getting closer to you. If you are popular on the circuit, but shy and keeping to yourself, they will use phrases like...."What's the matter?" ..."How's your wife?" or "Can I buy you a drink?"...or they might take it upon themselves to buy you shots of whiskey without consulting with you first and putting you on the spot directly in front of your most devoted followers to drink those shots. You might want to get to the dressing room quickly and can't...so you paste a ridiculous phony smile on your face to please the crowd and NOT hurt the band. They know all of this already and it is simply a con artist method of getting you into bed much later when the show is over. It's a means of getting your ass in a sling.
A huge percentage of drug hand outs can come from the owners of venues. They will ask you to meet them in their chambers and when you walk in, there are lines of cocaine on the desk for each band member to snort. On a more corporate level during the 80's ...record executives were determined to get the band high. They often had hopes of getting you addicted and approaching you 4 to 6 months later during a road tour when you were completely "spaced out" and insisting that you sign a contract/document. Being on the road WITHOUT taking any drugs whatsoever is extremely exhausting anyway ,but if you are addicted to a substance it becomes progressively worse regarding your comprehension of the more important things. For example....you may not even ask what it is that you are signing because you are so high and in "la-la-land" or maybe wanting to quickly sign the paper so you can rush your groupie back to the bedroom to have sex. The look on your face when you discover 6 months later that you signed all of your royalties away is the look of Jack Nicholson during the "church scene" in The Witches Of Eastwick". Your position becomes moronic. Drugs do not ALWAYS come from the audience. All the gifts given to you are brainwashing and making you feel special until one fine day...you realize that your life hasn't really changed. Your surroundings have, ...no doubt...but YOU as a person have not. The person who eats out of trashcans feels the same pain over losing he/she's mother that you most certainly will after experiencing fame and fortune. You will still feel depressed over the normal disappointments in life after becoming famous ...just as we all do.. All the simple things in life still prevail and the complicated social environment of the music business cannot change that.
Rock n' Roll
Rock n' Roll is sexy. It makes people feel special and sometimes the sound of a guitar can channel pulsating sexual energy through a woman, but it's like Carlos Santana always said: "I cannot do for you sexually ..what I feel from my guitar" Rock n' Roll doesn't have to be about sex in the real world. It's perfectly okay for a woman to feel "turned on" sexually by your guitar playing..as long as they keep it to themselves. Rock n' Roll doesn't have to be connected to drugs. Rock n' Roll is music and in the logical sense it is separate from the world of drugs. Drugs and sex are employed by society within Rock music to give it a personal thrill for themselves. If you take drugs, it will lower your possibilities to progress as a musician. This is merely society's version of Rock music...which sometimes the musician unfortunately indulges in it making it's reputation worse and giving the straight church going folks a bad image of NOT ONLY the music...but musicians themselves. The position itself is moronic....opinions?