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  1. #1
    Syn
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    Default Never written a song

    as the title says, i wouldnt even call it s asong or tune, feel free to rip good line out of it (if there are any)

    the night realeases me from it cold clutches
    it fingers let breath in once again
    the light burns my eyes
    telling me leave this waking dream i do not know


    the 3 realities i live in everyday
    are splitting my soul asunder
    who am i really?
    why dont you know the ansawer?!


    I dive in and dissaper from this world i do not know
    i become my hidden self
    i am calm and can breath slow


    this reality is comfortable
    i feel less pain here
    your memory is clouded
    my hatred seems less clear


    watching this fake reality swiftly disappear
    i am awake once more
    dreading the hatred takeing hold
    once again upon my chest


    I dive in and dissaper from this world i do not know
    i become my hidden self
    to cope all alone, its all i know


    while i sleep you have to left me
    while i wake you are so far
    im am coming to join you
    1 more step, the fall is far


    nothing great, tbh wouldnt even call it good, had ten mins at work to fill
    that is the result would be interesting to read what you think

  2. #2
    Grumpy Younger Man
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    Default

    Bloody hell !!

    If you really wrote that, and haven't just lifted it from some obscure bands' website (Only jesting), you should consider developing this.

    What sort of music do you envisage ??

  3. #3
    Syn
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    Default

    i have no idea, i like rock and metal but me thinks it is too nice for that

  4. #4
    Syn
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    Default

    Night realeases me from its cold clutches
    fingers relax and let breath
    bitter sunlight burns my eyes shut
    ordering me leave this dream i do not know

    3 realities i live in everyday and everynight
    are tearing my soul asunder
    who am i really? what am i doing?
    why dont you know the ansawer?!

    I dive in and dissaper from this world i do not know
    i become my hidden self
    i am calm and can breath slow

    my fake reality is comfortable
    there less pain from you here
    your memory is clouded
    my hatred seems less clear

    watching this fake reality swiftly disappear
    i am awake once more
    waiting for the hatred to take hold
    once again upon my chest

    I dive in and dissaper from this world i do not know
    i become my hidden self
    to cope all alone, its all i know

    while i sleep you have not left me
    while i wake you are so far
    im am coming to join you
    1 more step, the fall is far



    Little bit changed let me know what you think?

    stick to the day job huh? or go and runaway to become a millionair songwrtier?
    Last edited by Syn; 22-10-2008 at 17:10. Reason: spwlling

  5. #5
    Roadie
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    Default

    Hmm...thats really good. :D

    For the music part, acoustic BUT, if you can do this, with a little screaming, the soft kind.


    Or do that thing thats like half screaming half singing. If you dont know what I mean check out The Day I Left The Womb by Escape The Fate, the second verse and pretty much on from there.

    Or keep it light and add heavy guitar riffs between verses. Maybe start out heavier and get softer as the riff goes on.

    Just a thought.

    Or it still would be really pretty just soft a light.
    ill carry you down
    i wont make a sound
    -air traffic, owl city

    Iloveyewjayjayy
    r.i.p, love

  6. #6
    Session Musician
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    Default

    a nice attempt for a beginner.
    Have you ever tried writing something on patriotism?

    Ruhi Sheikh
    Financial Reviewer,
    http://economynews.in/

  7. #7
    Syn
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    Default

    never, you mean the subject?

  8. #8
    Session Musician
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    Default i mean

    yup. i mean have you ever tried writing anything related to patriotism or on political learning's.


    Ruhi Sheikh,
    Financial Reviewer,
    http://economynews.in/
    Last edited by Ruhi Sheikh; 30-12-2008 at 05:36.

  9. #9
    Record Label Executive
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    Default

    You should try sending some off to record companies, got nothing to loose and everything to gain.
    With Regards...


    Anthony

  10. #10
    Syn
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    Default

    i wouldnt know where to start with sending it somewhere, as for the patronism never could always give it a try though.

 

 

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